Throwback to the time when Jillian and I were in Europe, walking the streets of London and Paris, eating french pastries, and meandering across tourist laden footpaths looking at fresh market flowers and art. I love this photo that Jillian took, because it brings back those memories that seem so distant now.
I know we are are all inside, and its the best thing to do, safe for ourselves and everyone out there fighting this disease that has taken over our lives. But, I still miss what once was. Australia announced that they would be under stay at home orders for another few months at least until the end of June. Singapore followed suit. And last night, Malaysia’s leaders told the country that our lockdown would be extended for the 3rd time. I had swallowed the bitter pill of the previous announcements with relative ease (despite an initial outcry), but last night, for the first time, I felt really disheartened. For the first time, I asked, when will this ever end? Sometimes, not even all the positivity in the world thrown at you can take away the burden and heaviness of some cuts.
Anyone else feel the same?
So, I took a walk up and down my stairwell last night (as you do, because lockdown in our country means we can’t even go outside to exercise) and had a really honest fleshing out of my thoughts with God.
What was an initial mess of blabbering, eventually kneaded into 2 things I took away with clarity:
When questioning God about doubts about the future and if He would take care of us, I only had to look back at the line of faithfulness God had drawn through each and every trauma He had forced me to walk through before. While it did not take away the pain of each wound or season, and while the timing always felt ‘too long’ in my eyes, God was there and God was working. Yes I was forced to cross my red seas, and I had my Job outcries, but when I trace that thread of every wound, God showed me He always had better plans. Better things to work on and in through my storms. And because of that, my God is wholeheartedly steadfast. 𝐇𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧. 𝐇𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐰.
The other thing that left in my hands that night was this comfort – when I recalled all the things that came after each turmoil, was the good that eventually came. Sometimes it took years to see. Some I am still in the process of perceiving. But, it keeps coming back to the same thing – it is always always good.
And I am not alone. Many have walked before me in trial or despair – dotting and saturating hundreds of pages of the bible are countless souls who had their footprints along the same road. Job, Habbakuk, Moses, Hosea, Esther, Paul to just name a few, and of course Jesus. And they all sang the same song – God works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). No hurt is ever wasted. No bruise, or grief, is without purpose or reason. Each person’s storm told me that – Our God is always faithful. He fulfills all His promises. He is always victorious. And He is never late even when it may seem so.
The future is still so uncertain, and that can be scary. But resting in His proven faithfulness gives me comfort on the nights where the darkness dares to steal away hope and confidence. And on these evenings, where the shadows obscure what God has told us, it is my hope that I will continue to sing that our God is working in us and for us, much more than we will ever see or understand. Because our God has shown me he has a 100% success rate. 100/100. He has never once failed. For He has promised that He is committed to finishing what He has started, and He has shown that He wins each and every time.
May this be the muscle and sinew of our souls, and may it run in the marrow of our bones. May it be the lamp to our feet when we are stumbling through times like now. And may it be the anthem we preach when life tries to overshadow our faith or strip us of our joy.