I am by nature, a writer first and foremost at heart. Even more so than a photographer. During a really tough time in my life, I penned down some thoughts for every person who has ever felt like they never fit in, or belong….As you may or may not already know, God is a big part of my life… I know a lot of you don’t see that (yet), because I don’t write about Him often (yet), but He is the very very best piece of my existence, and I wanted to share with you partly in this post, why :)
Like I mentioned earlier, during a really hard period of my life, when I was feeling weighed down it made me feel quite inadequate as a person. However, to understand this post better, I need to rewind a full decade and some more. When I do that, you will see that I was not a popular kid in school. In fact, I had very few friends growing up. [expand title=”Continue reading”] I never got invited to sleepovers, or parties, no boys ever asked me out, I never got valentine roses from secret admirers, and I often floated through my school days just dreaming of the time I could leave because while I wasn’t hated by people, there was the occasional teasing for being a nerd, the odd racist comment thrown at my face for being Chinese, and then there was just being ignored by my own group of friends from time to time as they found cooler people to hang out with – I never felt completely accepted or loved by my peers. And it was a somewhat lonely existence, growing up where I was feeling mostly unworthy – for example, it would be a common thing for people to judge me as a cold and snobby person because of the way my face looked. Just like that, the way my face was made, already made me an outcast. Little did they know that deep down, I was just really shy. That I am naturally an introvert, and that I was really craving for their friendship, if they would only give me the chance… Maybe I wasn’t likeable enough, perhaps I wasn’t pretty enough, what was wrong with me? Were some of the questions I would ask myself time and time again.
Then, one year, I heard this message from Romans 8: “God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” And my life completely changed.
It was then that I accept Christ in my heart – to this day, it was the best decision I have ever made. It hasn’t been the easiest decision to live with, but it has definitely been the best thing I have ever done. I was so awestruck and humbled by these words because it meant that even when I was at my very worst, and when I was God’s enemy and had rejected God himself, He died on my behalf so that I may live and have eternal life in Him. It gave me so much hope and encouragement because it meant that I was wholly and completely loved and accepted for who I was – even at my very very ugliest and blackest. They say a good man may die for you if you are on good standing with him, but no one will die for you if you are their enemy. But God did. And that is why I love Him so much… no matter what is going on in my life, no matter who hates me, or what hurdle I am being put through on a work or personal front, I know I have a God that stands behind me, and takes me with open arms, and lifts me up under His wing each and every time without fail.
“… Though the Lord is high, He regards the lowly…” [Psalm 138]
God loves the rejects, and the lowly. I see it time and time again in the bible, how the Lord Jesus gravitated towards the scum of society, the people that were outcasts, hated by their people, and rejected by their own family. And it always amazed me that our God, would associate with and even love the lowliest of the lowliest. He doesn’t have to, but he CHOOSES to. And that’s what gets me every time. God loves the lowly. I have kept coming back to this truth over and over again… To be honest, I’m not even sure why that particular phrase even surfaced in my mind, but I do know that I have been thinking a lot of the souls out there who are having it hard, the misfits, the outcasts, those who have been suffering, or have hit rock bottom…my mind has thought much of you and for you lately…maybe because I consider myself as one of you. A little lost at times. Wondering where we really fit in. And just misunderstood.
So this post is for all the misfits, the outcasts, the rejects, the misunderstood, the abandoned ones, the ones left out, or have hit rock bottom, the outsiders, the lonely ones, the oddballs, or even if you are just hurting and aching inside. I believe there is a place for all of you. And while we may be from different backgrounds and beliefs, my heart, love and prayers go out to you anyway, and know that I am cheering for you. I hope you conquer the world. Show them that the underdogs do win. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t, or make you feel that you aren’t good enough, smart enough, or beautiful enough because someone once told me that stars can’t shine without darkness….and finally remember to stay strong – make them wonder how you suddenly shone so brightly one day. I know I plan to charge ahead with my head held high, because I have a God that accepts me wholly for who I am, faults and all, and that kind of fire and hope goes all the way through to eternity and beyond.