Pregnancy: 31 weeks and reflecting back to 12

I’m sitting here with a self-induced food coma, and finally getting this post finished….This entry was supposed to go up 3 days ago…but as life would have it, timing never works out as planned. Being pregnant (and I know that it becomes even more so when one becomes a mother after) you learn over time that you aren’t ever 100% in control of your own time… or your body! Currently, at 31 weeks, the fatigue that plagues the first trimester, has returned and has become a very unwelcome visitor every day this past week. So getting things done has been quite hard as I am always sleepy, my back always hurts, my feet (especially the heels!) are always screaming in pain, and the most comforting place is the bed where I can lay on my side…. the only position left nowadays that brings some long needed hours of rest and relief.

Thankfully though, at 31 weeks, while I am tired ALL the time, I do not have that WRETCHED all-day nausea anymore. Instead, I am hungry every 3 hours (although I cannot eat alot due to the diminishing amount of physical space inside me – it literally physically hurts to overeat, and I have learned the hard way that it is better to eat less, but more frequently instead of eating until I feel completely full and satisfied). Also, on the upside, most foods sit well with me now. Which is such a stark contrast to the first trimester where I hated anything and everything in sight – ESPECIALLY garlic. It is as if pregnancy has amplified my taste receptors to a scarily aware level because if I can taste even the slightest hint of garlic in a dish/food, I get sick… like the kind of nausea-sick I got in my first trimester. Which is sad… because anyone who knows me knows just HOW MUCH I loved garlic before I was pregnant…. I used to heap the stuff on in my food and could eat the cloves by themselves when they were baked in the oven. Now the thought and smell of the stuff sends me running in fear for my life. Yup, anything to avoid feeling as sick as I did during my first 4 months.

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If anyone asks me what I have been loving to eat lately? The usual burgers always hit the spot :D Sausage and egg mcmuffins (I love hashbrowns too but try really hard not to eat them too often for the sake of transfat health reasons haha), juicy beef burgers (although it has been a little sad to tell the kitchen to make the beef totally well done), DURIANS (omg, durians! especially when they have been refrigerated cold!), greek yoghurt with mango, fruits of ALL kinds, chilled fresh coconut juice, crackers and cheese, milk, and a special combination of chicken/rice/fried egg/steamed broccoli which has been a staple lunch for me lately :) The husband has been really really patient with me, and has been graciously providing food for the baby (ie. me haha) as and when I have wanted it. Thankfully, ridiculous late night food runs have not really been happening, except once. So the weight gain so far, has been about 11KG at 31 weeks.

And what has life looked like in the past week or two? Well, in terms of the baby…bub is moving ALL the time…. its kind of crazy that just weeks ago, catching baby movements was as hard as finding gold but now I am aware of when bub is rolling, turning, kicking, or having a dance party in my belly… more on that in the next post… For now, in terms of what life looks like at the moment?  I think the nesting stage has COMPLETELY taken over, because I have always hated cleaning the house. You’d have to beat me with a broom before I would get off my lazy bum and do it, but since entering my last trimester, I have had this intense need to wash all towels, linens, floors, dust shelves, clean mirrors and glass, organize rooms, cupboards, shoes, throw out SO MUCH CRAP, and work on the nursery. I don’t know what has come over me! I might leave “Project Nursery” for another post in my pregnancy journal series though, because all of you need to see what state this room used to be in (think dark, horrible store/junkyard kind of room), what our goal is, and what the end result ends up being :)

On another note, yes I am still working. It is insane how this workload never ends… so to those wondering, yup, I am still editing away, madly trying to finish up everything this month. My poor team members have been burning rubber with me… I am so grateful for them. Without this amazing team, I don’t know where I would be during this pregnancy. They have made it possible to still shoot, while working around nausea, tiredness, keep baby and me healthy, and still produce results that keep our clients happy. Thank you SO MUCH!!

Anyhow, I know at the end of my last post, I left you all with my thoughts on my first trimester, and how the 12 week scan changed so many things about how I felt about being pregnant and carrying a child. You see, when you have been sick for so many months, it is completely natural to question what on earth you got yourself into. Asking questions like, is this worth it? What am I doing? What if I suffer this sickness for the full nine months? All-day nausea was so completely debilitating that there were moments I swore I never wanted to ever be pregnant again. Does this opinion change as you get further along pregnancy? I think so… at least in my case it did :) And the 12 week scan was one of the things that helped kick start the change to appreciating carrying this beautiful God-given gift.

Pictured below is me at 31 weeks, holding my 12 week scan.

For the first time, I saw a baby. Before this, you don’t see anything much except a little black sac on the screen with a little nub that looks nothing more than a finger tip. But when I went into see what was inside me at 12 weeks, I was pretty much blown away that just after a few weeks, the baby looked so much like… a baby. I know this sounds incredibly stupid, but really, to see what you and your partner have created from just two cells in your body, and to see its beating heart, its legs, its arms, its head, is truly truly amazing. I don’t think you will ever understand the magnitude of this moment until you go through it yourself with your own child. So if at this point you think I’m a rambling pregnant lady, that is ok :) I know if/when it ever comes to your turn, you will get what I am talking about :) And just when I thought that was the most amazing thing ever….On the ultrasound screen, we then saw our baby roll around, wriggle its bottom to a different position and lift its hand up as if to say hello to us. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen…. so much so that I almost couldn’t stop laughing, to the point of near tears. It was at that point that it hit me…. bub is really there. It’s really alive. It’s growing. It’s real. And I think at that point is where I fell in love with my child, and was reminded just how amazing God’s creation is. Even despite my incredible sickness and the inability to eat (I lost weight in my first trimester!) for so many months, baby was still growing, looked beautiful, and was deemed healthy by our doctor. There was just so much to be thankful for at this moment. God had truly blessed us. And I prayed all the time from then onwards to please keep my child healthy, and that I would be more grateful for the life inside me when I knew alot of other women couldn’t have children.

I hope for all women out there who are pregnant (thank you, by the way to all the ladies who wrote in to me with your stories. I was so encouraged to know I am not alone, and that there are people out there who care. So much love goes out to all of you. Please don’t ever stop. Know that your words make my days brighter!), and are in the throws of sickness and suffering, know that what you are carrying and the work you are doing to carry a child and keep him/her healthy is truly amazing and a feat in itself. If anyone ever tells you otherwise or makes you feel otherwise, you can send them to talk to me! haha… I earnestly know just how hard it can be.

In my next post, I plan to talk about how pregnancy affected (or in my case, ruined!) my skin and my hair…. the things I did to help it…..baby movements and what they feel like, and how pregnancy has changed my marriage, amongst other things! :D

Thank you again for reading, and as always, my inbox and the comment bar below is always welcome to any questions or thoughts you may have :)

 

Jenny Signoff

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